I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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