at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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