I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
