we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
