we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
