Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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