Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
