sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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