All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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