He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
