I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
