found the other keg... it's in the tree
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
