I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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