I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize