In the future we'll all be gay
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
