i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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