I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
