Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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