but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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