Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
