Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
