I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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