Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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