My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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