Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
