I am puke
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
