why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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