Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Too much gin, very little bucket
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
