I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
