I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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