I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
God I need to hump something, right now.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize