i just google imaged poop.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I think my moral compass just broke
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
