I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
