went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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