So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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