Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
