Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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