Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My pussy is not your playground.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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