He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and Iām great with hard things ;-)
Randomize