Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
