Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Dicks are not precious.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
