D3 body, D1 cock
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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