why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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