ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
