Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
