I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Shame - the story of my life.
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