Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
