some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
