sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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