so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
