I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
