Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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