Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
