my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
