Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
