i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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