she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
