She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
