So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Randomize
