So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
