I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
tell me about the fingering
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