Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
