I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
