Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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