I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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