I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
