So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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